| About Me |
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Name: Crazy Bitch
Home: Portland, Oregon, United States
About Me: I've always enjoyed writing, so long as it's something I know about - like me. I'm a student. A mother. A sister. A homeowner. A perfectionist. I try to keep them as separate as possible, but sometimes they intertwine - which is NEVER a good thing. I love shoes. I love dancing, although I don't really know how. I love loud music, bonfires and the occasional glass of beer. I love my family. I love my life. And ever so slowly, I'm learning to love myself.
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| Bells |
| Friday, April 16, 2004 |
There are bells going off in my head: DO SOMETHING! DO SOMETHING!
As much as motherhood is looked upon as a noble career, I feel I haven't accomplished anything. I've managed to land myself a terrific husband (fish?) and some pretty smart kids (even though I think they are idiots most of the time). I guess I'm still on the path to discovering myself and I'm finding it a never-ending quest. As much as I like socializing, I haven't been the socializer. Current events bore me to death. I'd rather not read about the terror in the world. That seems to contradict everything I've been doing, (i.e. reading books and blogs) but my "attention keeper" seems to notice the difference. A part of me still feels like a teenager and I'm still not quite sure what I want to be when I grow up. I keep trying to tell myself, I'm living it, but the kid won't listen. So once again, the dreams of not being in control start up. I always seem to be waiting for something to happen so I can start living again. Waiting for the kids back to go back to school. Waiting to sell the house. Waiting to move. Waiting to get skinny. Waiting for the motivation to get skinny. Waiting for extra money to build the kids' rooms upstairs. Waiting for the kids to move out. I'm not so sure that the kids moving out is the issue. I think it's more like - having the kids grow up so I can have some adults to talk to. There's the socializing issue again. Ugh - I'm hopeless. |
posted by Crazy Bitch @ 12:28 AM   |
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