| About Me |
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Name: Crazy Bitch
Home: Portland, Oregon, United States
About Me: I've always enjoyed writing, so long as it's something I know about - like me. I'm a student. A mother. A sister. A homeowner. A perfectionist. I try to keep them as separate as possible, but sometimes they intertwine - which is NEVER a good thing. I love shoes. I love dancing, although I don't really know how. I love loud music, bonfires and the occasional glass of beer. I love my family. I love my life. And ever so slowly, I'm learning to love myself.
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| Car Salesmen Hate Nikki |
| Thursday, September 14, 2006 |
S cannot stand shopping for new cars. I love it. Not only do I get TONS of attention, I can also go into bitch mode and have my toes sucked at the same time. The part of car shopping that I don’t like? Decisions. Ugh.
So after a week of research, narrowing down my options to four reliable, economical, affordable possibilities, S and I headed out to test drive. When we pulled into the car lot and parked, I pulled out my favorite sparkly lip gloss as began applying it.
“Six, seven, eight...”
“What are you counting?” I ask S. “Scions?”
“No. Car salesmen.”
I look up and they are swarming like vultures - whispering to each other, while watching me apply my lip gloss. I smile an all knowing smile. They have no idea who they are dealing with.
I waited for my darling gentleman to open my door and help me out of the car. The swarm began to move closer. S had the “I’d rather be elsewhere” look on his face, but I smiled and slipped my arm around his. This will be painless. For us.
After initial introductions, I told them why I was here, what I wanted, what I liked. Usually S leads, and I follow, but not here. This is going to be my new toy. It’s all about Nikki. What Nikki wants. What Nikki needs. What makes Nikki happy. Besides, I think S likes to watch how I can make them squirm.
“I want to drive it.”
“Sure thing, but first...”
This is where I almost ALWAYS get a song and dance. And nobody is allowed to steal my show. If you want my money, all you have to do is get down on all fours and stick out your tongue.
How hard is that? |
posted by Crazy Bitch @ 6:39 AM   |
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