| About Me |
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Name: Crazy Bitch
Home: Portland, Oregon, United States
About Me: I've always enjoyed writing, so long as it's something I know about - like me. I'm a student. A mother. A sister. A homeowner. A perfectionist. I try to keep them as separate as possible, but sometimes they intertwine - which is NEVER a good thing. I love shoes. I love dancing, although I don't really know how. I love loud music, bonfires and the occasional glass of beer. I love my family. I love my life. And ever so slowly, I'm learning to love myself.
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| Dancing With Myself. Dancing With Others. |
| Saturday, June 21, 2008 |
I received a special invite from Becoming Juicy Studios - Isis was holding a dance for ten women. Naturally, I signed myself and my BFF up. A. and I had decided to move on, but recently talked about how much we missed Isis.
So the day of, we packed up our stripper gear, prepared to dance the night away. However, shortly after arriving we realized this was not about dressing up. This was serious business. We were stripping out of everything unseen to the naked eye.
The morning after, I sat down to write about my deeply moving experience. Isis wants to post it in her newsletter. Hmm. Guess I didn't realize I could write so well...
As the music washed over me, I felt every single emotion - and even some I didn't understand. I cried. I laughed. I hurt. My entire life flashed before me and I almost understood everything. And nothing. I felt the naive 5-year-old. The pained 8 year-old. The blooming 12-year-old. The pregnant 17-year-old. The numb 20 year-old. The ecstatic 23-year-old.
And then me.
I felt me.
I felt me.
It was me.
Completely me.
And I fell in love.
With me.
For a moment, I wanted to see everyone stripped of their clothes.
But as that first thought slipped into the air - I snatched it back, hugging it tight. It's dirty. It's dirty. It's wrong. But the music washed over me. And I let go again. It's not dirty. It's not dirty.
It's okay to see them naked. Raw. Stripped of fear. insecurities. Pain. I wanted to wrap them in my energy - feel their nakedness against mine - like a mother nursing a newborn child.
It's okay.
I'm okay.
We're okay.
I inhaled deeply and sucked in all of their energy.
And exhaled my love.
I know who I am. I know who you are. I understand. |
posted by Crazy Bitch @ 9:05 PM   |
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