| About Me |
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Name: Crazy Bitch
Home: Portland, Oregon, United States
About Me: I've always enjoyed writing, so long as it's something I know about - like me. I'm a student. A mother. A sister. A homeowner. A perfectionist. I try to keep them as separate as possible, but sometimes they intertwine - which is NEVER a good thing. I love shoes. I love dancing, although I don't really know how. I love loud music, bonfires and the occasional glass of beer. I love my family. I love my life. And ever so slowly, I'm learning to love myself.
See my complete profile
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| Bad Kitty |
| Saturday, June 28, 2008 |
I miss C. I know she was insecure and after attention constantly. I know she had unhealthy habits, and was a total bad kitty - but she was damn powerful. And I put her away. Closed the door and moved on. Something I am so very good at.
But she wants out.
I've seen glimpses of her on occasion - in the Red Room, when I'm with Si or Paco, or dancing with Isis... I'm trying to understand how to release her without letting her get out of control. I want to feel that power without having to look over my shoulder.
Who is watching?
Who is watching?
Who is watching?
I searched for C. this morning. I didn't have to go very far to find her. I knew where to look. And she's out there.
That idea is scary as Hell.
I cannot put that crown on again.
I CANNOT put that crown on again.
How easily we can fall back into our addictions that have been set aside for years.
And we do it in the speed of the flash of a camera. |
posted by Crazy Bitch @ 7:40 AM   |
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| My New Boy Toy |
| Wednesday, June 25, 2008 |
I found a new boy toy for my birthday. The morning of, I decided to give him a ride. As I slid my hand over his sleek, black body, I felt myself tremble. Am I ready for this? I hiked up my skirt and slid into his arms, pressing my bare bottom against his firm lap. I giggled with anticipation as I revved up his engine.
Unlike my Si, he was a bit slow to get off. But I knew it would be worth the wait. I anticipated a bumpy ride, but he cruised nicely over my hills and valley. Mmmm.
Onlookers watched as I drove him fast - flashing a bit of thigh to those wanting a better view. By the time my ride was over, I was nearly breathless.
I slid back out of his arms, giving a final show to anyone watching.
I knew it was all good as my trigger got excited.
No hairy taco here, baby. My taco is smooth, sleek, and ready to ride at a moment's notice.
Mmmmmmmm.
Here's Paco my Taco:
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| posted by Crazy Bitch @ 6:10 AM |
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| Panty Raid |
| Tuesday, June 24, 2008 |
I recently took a panty survey for Victoria's Secret. One of the final questions was whether I give/receive panties for gifts. Hmmm. Remember the days when an anniversary/birthday/etc. involved lingerie from your S.O.? That doesn't seem to happen as often as it used to. I don't know if it has to do with women needing instant gratification and shopping for themselves, or if it has become a more personal selection type of thing.
When one of A.'s boyfriends was backpacking through Europe, he bought her some French lingerie. Years ago, S. bought me a green chemise for our anniversary. It was beautiful - but long gone, since that was during my fat years.
I think that sexy panties make a perfect gift - as long as they are not edible, crotchless, or too uncomfortable to wear. They are simple and inexpensive gift, yet intimate enough to really count.
I think I will start giving panties as gifts. Perhaps I will even get some in return.
(psst. size small.) |
| posted by Crazy Bitch @ 8:09 PM |
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| Desires. |
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To hear my name over and over and over again.
To be slowly undressed in a long stare.
To feel one finger slide down my body at random.
To get a gentle bite on the back of the neck.
To hear naughty whispers in inappropriate places.
To be pressed up against the wall, car, etc. and kissed passionately - hands roaming everywhere.
To be thrown down, stripped naked, flipped over and devoured from head to toe - with just a touch of pain.
Mmm... |
| posted by Crazy Bitch @ 7:12 PM |
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| All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy? |
| Monday, June 23, 2008 |
Jack obviously doesn't work with Nikki.
My brain fired up again after a long drought and will not quit. I have been consumed by an insatiable lust for activity that is hot, dirty, and makes my head hurt with a deep-seeded pleasure. The vibrations of it run down my spine, making me shake with excitement.
I am thinking. I am solving. I am helping. I am doing. I am contributing.
I am working.
And it is making my panties wet. |
| posted by Crazy Bitch @ 8:05 PM |
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| Sexy Little Bike For Sale |
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Oh sexy little motorcycle... how I wanted to love you so. I dug through the closet, but couldn't find enough Grrrr to tame you. Sorry, baby, but this sexy bitch is getting behind one of the big boys and going hands free.
Bike for sale.
Bike for sale.
Sexy little bike for sale.
Roll it right and it'll make you purr...
Sexy little black bike for sale. |
| posted by Crazy Bitch @ 8:03 PM |
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| Sexual Overdrive |
| Sunday, June 22, 2008 |
I've recently rediscovered my sex drive. I don't know where it was hiding all this time, but it came back with a vengeance. All I want to do is get off. Why?
Perhaps it is spring fever. Perhaps it is because I lost weight. Perhaps it is the testosterone that surrounds me everyday. Perhaps it has everything to do with Becoming Juicy. Perhaps I'm hitting my sexual peak early. Hell, I don't know, but I LIKE IT!
Poor A. My BFF has to put up with my chatter... sex, sex, sex. That's all I talk about. And S. has to put up with my booty call music - since that's all I listen to. And - I had to put a vibrator in my car - just in case.
I'm trying to deal with it, but when I'm at work... AAAGGGHHH! A. told me not to use a vibrator at work -
"...because if you drop it in the toilet it would make a whole lot of noise and then everyone will know what you are doing."
Sounds like she speaks from experience.
"I'm just saying..." is her reply.
Uh-huh.
So the vibrator stays in the car.
Until I can get someone to put a lock on the sample room...
Meanwhile... I just wanna fuck. |
| posted by Crazy Bitch @ 9:54 PM |
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| Dancing With Myself. Dancing With Others. |
| Saturday, June 21, 2008 |
I received a special invite from Becoming Juicy Studios - Isis was holding a dance for ten women. Naturally, I signed myself and my BFF up. A. and I had decided to move on, but recently talked about how much we missed Isis.
So the day of, we packed up our stripper gear, prepared to dance the night away. However, shortly after arriving we realized this was not about dressing up. This was serious business. We were stripping out of everything unseen to the naked eye.
The morning after, I sat down to write about my deeply moving experience. Isis wants to post it in her newsletter. Hmm. Guess I didn't realize I could write so well...
As the music washed over me, I felt every single emotion - and even some I didn't understand. I cried. I laughed. I hurt. My entire life flashed before me and I almost understood everything. And nothing. I felt the naive 5-year-old. The pained 8 year-old. The blooming 12-year-old. The pregnant 17-year-old. The numb 20 year-old. The ecstatic 23-year-old.
And then me.
I felt me.
I felt me.
It was me.
Completely me.
And I fell in love.
With me.
For a moment, I wanted to see everyone stripped of their clothes.
But as that first thought slipped into the air - I snatched it back, hugging it tight. It's dirty. It's dirty. It's wrong. But the music washed over me. And I let go again. It's not dirty. It's not dirty.
It's okay to see them naked. Raw. Stripped of fear. insecurities. Pain. I wanted to wrap them in my energy - feel their nakedness against mine - like a mother nursing a newborn child.
It's okay.
I'm okay.
We're okay.
I inhaled deeply and sucked in all of their energy.
And exhaled my love.
I know who I am. I know who you are. I understand. |
| posted by Crazy Bitch @ 9:05 PM |
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